S.B.F.

If you'd like proof of sentiency, send a missive stating your full name and your wish to receive a certificate which will be engraved with your name and title. Simply state that you have typed your name, by yourself, and have not instructed an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters, sitting at an infinte number of desks, to try to duplicate your signature. The ability to write your name shall be considered proof of your capability of conscious choice and decision and intention, showing your mental alertness, calculation and resourcefulness, this is assuming that you're in a state of elementary or un- differentiated consciousness and are in an alert cognitive state in which you are aware of yourself and your situation. Your readiness to perceive sensations is one of the inherent cognitive or perceptual powers of the mind and suggestive of inviolable sentiency. Your certificate may be mounted upon an indestructible titanium plaque. Click image at left to view mounted certificate.