Write Simply and Directly (What style of writing works online?)

Writing Effectively Online: How to Compose Hypertext

Write Simply and Directly

Due to screen reading problems, most readers scan online text instead of read word-by-word. Since they spend less time reading online, "It's critical that each screen of text contains just what a reader might be looking for, and that the information is easy to find" (Mitternight, 1998, p. 36). These requirements strongly suggest a simple, direct style for writing hypertext documents.

To write simply and directly (Horton, 1994; Smith, 1998):

Choose mostly simple declarative and imperative sentences.

Especially avoid embedded clauses, which risk falling between two "scrolling zones." Also, use an affirmative sentence structure. Specify what is true, not what is false.

Before & After example: Using simple sentences

Before: One long, complicated sentence

Kodak today introduced two new digital cameras: the Kodak DC4800, which is due in August for $900 with a titanium-finish body, auto focus, 3.1 megapixel CCD, 3X optical and 2X digital zoom and a built-in strobe; and the Kodak DC5000, due later this month for $700, with a padded, weatherized body and oversized controls, 2-megapixel resolution, a 2X optical and a 3X digital zoom and an optional image-authentication module that meets legal requirements for digital images used as evidence.

After: Short, simpler sentences (and restructured into a more readable bulleted list)

Kodak today introduced two new digital cameras:

The Kodak DC4800, due in August for $900, features a titanium-finish body, auto focus, 3.1 megapixel CCD, 3X optical and 2X digital zoom and a built-in strobe.

The Kodak DC5000, due later this month for $700, features a padded, weatherized body and oversized controls, 2-megapixel resolution, a 2X optical and a 3X digital zoom. It also has an optional image-authentication module that meets legal requirements for digital images used as evidence.

Use active voice, when appropriate.

Before & After example: Using active voice

Before: Using passive voice

How did Bungee Jumping start?

Bungee Jumping was inspired by the vine jumpers of Pentecost Island in Vanuatu (formerly the New Hebrides) in the Pacific Ocean, where it is understood to be both a rite of passage into manhood, and a fertility rite performed to ensure a good yam harvest. Modern Bungee Jumping began with four simultaneous jumps off the Clifton Suspension Bridge in Bristol, England, on the 1st April 1979.

After: Using active voice

How did Bungee Jumping start?

Bungee Jumping was inspired by the vine jumpers of Pentecost Island in Vanuatu (formerly the New Hebrides) in the Pacific Ocean. Vine jumping is both a rite of passage into manhood and a fertility rite performed to ensure a good yam harvest. Modern Bungee Jumping began with four simultaneous jumps off the Clifton Suspension Bridge in Bristol, England, on the 1st April 1979.

Note: I retained passive voice in the first sentence because the sentence would be awkward if rewritten in active voice.

Choose strong verbs.

Strong verbs make your writing more direct, concise, and interesting.

#1 Before & After example: Choosing strong verbs

Before: Using the noun "provision" when the verb form would work best

Our Capacity Building program guides individuals and organizations through all the steps needed to develop multi-user information systems through the provision of advice, supporting materials for biodiversity management, and several training services.

After: Using the verb "provides" (and breaking the long sentences into two shorter sentences)

Our Capacity Building program guides individuals and organizations through all the steps needed to develop multi-user information systems. This program provides advice, supporting materials for biodiversity management, and several training services.

#2 Before & After example: Choosing strong verbs

Before: Using the noun "subscription" creates the weak verb "having"

The main advantage of having your own personal subscription to the IAUCs and/or MPECs is obvious: you would no longer have to rely on second- or third-hand sources for information on new astronomical discoveries.

After: Using the strong verb "subscribing" eliminates the weak verb "having" (and makes the text more concise)

The main advantage of subscribing to the IAUCs and/or MPECs is obvious: you would no longer have to rely on second- or third-hand sources for information on new astronomical discoveries.

Be concise.

Make every word count. Readers won't read a lot of text online. The shorter the text, the less likely readers will become fatigued from screen reading.

Before & After example: Being concise

Before: Wordy "legalese" in one long paragraph

The information contained in this Web site is based on the observation of Colorado Department of Transportation employees and others and represents the general road and weather conditions at the time of the observation. Please note that some time may have passed since the observation was made and conditions may have changed. It is not intended that this information be used as the sole basis for travel decisions. During inclement weather, it is advisable that travel be delayed until CDOT has had an opportunity to perform any necessary maintenance activities. Always drive at speeds reasonable in relation to the condition of the highway.

After: Concise text broken into shorter paragraphs

The road conditions information is based on the observation of Colorado Department of Transportation employees and others. It represents the general road and weather conditions at the time of the observation.

Please note that the road conditions might have changed since these observations were made. Do not use this information as the sole basis for travel decisions.

During inclement weather, we advise that you delay travel until CDOT has completed any necessary maintenance. Always drive at speeds reasonable in relation to road conditions.

Use simple punctuation.

Avoid using most contractions and semicolons. Due to low screen resolution, these punctuation marks are hard to read on screen.

Before & After example: Using simple punctuation

Before: Unnecessary colon

Personal Organizer licenses are $50 each. Group Organizer licenses are $100 each; demos are also available.

After: Colon replaced with a period

Personal Organizer licenses are $50 each. Group Organizer licenses are $100 each. Demos are also available.

Express ideas precisely (such as stating quantities exactly).

Readers tolerate less ambiguity online than in paper documents.

Use concrete, specific words and avoid abstract words.

According to William Horton (1994), "Even complex concepts can be communicated in short, simple words already familiar to the reader" (p. 262). He recommends avoiding unnecessary jargon and using the reader's vocabulary whenever possible, which may include jargon.

Horton (1994) states, "Jargon unites members of a specialized field and, used with those who understand it, adds precision and color. If you can speak the jargon like a native, go ahead and use it. If you can't, stick to standard English" (p. 262).

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Last Updated: May 2, 2001

(c)2000 by Alysson Troffer. All rights reserved. Do not reproduce or redistribute any material from this document, in whole or in part, without written permission.


			Writing Effectively Online: How to Compose Hypertext
			Writing Effectively Online: How to Compose Hypertext

	Write Simply and Directly
	Due to screen reading problems, most readers scan online text instead of read word-by-word. Since they spend less time reading online, "It's critical that each screen of text contains just what a reader might be looking for, and that the information is easy to find" (Mitternight, 1998, p. 36). These requirements strongly suggest a simple, direct style for writing hypertext documents. To write simply and directly (Horton, 1994; Smith, 1998): Choose mostly simple declarative and imperative sentences. Especially avoid embedded clauses, which risk falling between two "scrolling zones." Also, use an affirmative sentence structure. Specify what is true, not what is false. `Before & After example: Using simple sentences` `Before: One long, complicated sentence` `Kodak today introduced two new digital cameras: the Kodak DC4800, which is due in August for $900 with a titanium-finish body, auto focus, 3.1 megapixel CCD, 3X optical and 2X digital zoom and a built-in strobe; and the Kodak DC5000, due later this month for $700, with a padded, weatherized body and oversized controls, 2-megapixel resolution, a 2X optical and a 3X digital zoom and an optional image-authentication module that meets legal requirements for digital images used as evidence.` `After: Short, simpler sentences (and restructured into a more readable bulleted list)` `Kodak today introduced two new digital cameras:` `The Kodak DC4800, due in August for $900, features a titanium-finish body, auto focus, 3.1 megapixel CCD, 3X optical and 2X digital zoom and a built-in strobe.` `The Kodak DC5000, due later this month for $700, features a padded, weatherized body and oversized controls, 2-megapixel resolution, a 2X optical and a 3X digital zoom. It also has an optional image-authentication module that meets legal requirements for digital images used as evidence.` Use active voice, when appropriate. `Before & After example: Using active voice` `Before: Using passive voice` `How did Bungee Jumping start?` `Bungee Jumping was inspired by the vine jumpers of Pentecost Island in Vanuatu (formerly the New Hebrides) in the Pacific Ocean, where it is understood to be both a rite of passage into manhood, and a fertility rite performed to ensure a good yam harvest. Modern Bungee Jumping began with four simultaneous jumps off the Clifton Suspension Bridge in Bristol, England, on the 1st April 1979.` `After: Using active voice` `How did Bungee Jumping start?` `Bungee Jumping was inspired by the vine jumpers of Pentecost Island in Vanuatu (formerly the New Hebrides) in the Pacific Ocean. Vine jumping is both a rite of passage into manhood and a fertility rite performed to ensure a good yam harvest. Modern Bungee Jumping began with four simultaneous jumps off the Clifton Suspension Bridge in Bristol, England, on the 1st April 1979.` `Note: I retained passive voice in the first sentence because the sentence would be awkward if rewritten in active voice.` Choose strong verbs. Strong verbs make your writing more direct, concise, and interesting. `#1 Before & After example: Choosing strong verbs` `Before: Using the noun "provision" when the verb form would work best` `Our Capacity Building program guides individuals and organizations through all the steps needed to develop multi-user information systems through the provision of advice, supporting materials for biodiversity management, and several training services.` `After: Using the verb "provides" (and breaking the long sentences into two shorter sentences)` `Our Capacity Building program guides individuals and organizations through all the steps needed to develop multi-user information systems. This program provides advice, supporting materials for biodiversity management, and several training services.` `#2 Before & After example: Choosing strong verbs` `Before: Using the noun "subscription" creates the weak verb "having"` `The main advantage of having your own personal subscription to the IAUCs and/or MPECs is obvious: you would no longer have to rely on second- or third-hand sources for information on new astronomical discoveries.` `After: Using the strong verb "subscribing" eliminates the weak verb "having" (and makes the text more concise)` `The main advantage of subscribing to the IAUCs and/or MPECs is obvious: you would no longer have to rely on second- or third-hand sources for information on new astronomical discoveries.` Be concise. Make every word count. Readers won't read a lot of text online. The shorter the text, the less likely readers will become fatigued from screen reading. `Before & After example: Being concise` `Before: Wordy "legalese" in one long paragraph` The information contained in this Web site is based on the observation of Colorado Department of Transportation employees and others and represents the general road and weather conditions at the time of the observation. Please note that some time may have passed since the observation was made and conditions may have changed. It is not intended that this information be used as the sole basis for travel decisions. During inclement weather, it is advisable that travel be delayed until CDOT has had an opportunity to perform any necessary maintenance activities. Always drive at speeds reasonable in relation to the condition of the highway. `After: Concise text broken into shorter paragraphs` `The road conditions information is based on the observation of Colorado Department of Transportation employees and others. It represents the general road and weather conditions at the time of the observation.` `Please note that the road conditions might have changed since these observations were made. Do not use this information as the sole basis for travel decisions.` `During inclement weather, we advise that you delay travel until CDOT has completed any necessary maintenance. Always drive at speeds reasonable in relation to road conditions.` Use simple punctuation. Avoid using most contractions and semicolons. Due to low screen resolution, these punctuation marks are hard to read on screen. `Before & After example: Using simple punctuation` `Before: Unnecessary colon` `Personal Organizer licenses are $50 each. Group Organizer licenses are $100 each; demos are also available.` `After: Colon replaced with a period` `Personal Organizer licenses are $50 each. Group Organizer licenses are $100 each. Demos are also available.` Express ideas precisely (such as stating quantities exactly). Readers tolerate less ambiguity online than in paper documents. Use concrete, specific words and avoid abstract words. According to William Horton (1994), "Even complex concepts can be communicated in short, simple words already familiar to the reader" (p. 262). He recommends avoiding unnecessary jargon and using the reader's vocabulary whenever possible, which may include jargon. Horton (1994) states, "Jargon unites members of a specialized field and, used with those who understand it, adds precision and color. If you can speak the jargon like a native, go ahead and use it. If you can't, stick to standard English" (p. 262).
	[Brief TOC] [Expanded TOC] [Printer-Friendly Version] [Webfolio] [Next]: Rethink Notions of Transitional, Linear Writing Comments? Please email me! Last Updated: May 2, 2001 (c)2000 by Alysson Troffer. All rights reserved. Do not reproduce or redistribute any material from this document, in whole or in part, without written permission.