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My Homepage
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Published On: Apr 07, 2009 10:28 AM
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Published On: Apr 07, 2009 10:28 AM
The Dark Knight...
Add my voice to the chorus of those praising this
movie. Frankly, it makes Batman Begins look like some 15 year old's high
school drama project posted on YouTube.
Srsly.
You've already heard all about it and/or seen it so I won't bother with a review. If you haven't seen it yet, just go now.
By the way, I learned at the movies that the citizens of the United States are scared frakin' shrat-less.
(I don't know what the BSG equivalent of sh_t is, so I just made up shrat. Sounds right somehow, and it sounded better than "frakin' frak-less." In the old series I believe the equivalent of poo was "feldercarb". Thank gods the new BSG didn't bring that one back!)
Anyway .... What has led me to the conclusion that we're all scared frakin' shrat-less? Oh, I don't know, maybe it was the 18 million apocalyptic, horrible, world-is-coming-to-an-end-and-we're-all-seriously-fraked-no-really-I-mean-it-we're-more-fraked-than-you-think trailers that showed before Dark Knight. First there was the one for The Day the Earth Stood Still (frankly, the fact that they remade this at all, but then did so with Kean-"whhhoah" Reeves is proof enough that the world is about to crash and burn), then there was Terminator #18 (or whatever number they're on now ... I never watched past #2), then there were about half a dozen less memorable, but equally "we're all gonna die man. Game over. GAME OVER!" trailers. Heck, even Disney/Pixar's latest movie WALL-E is about us completely screwing up the planet then getting fat and stupid (when in fact, we all know that those are all happening simultaneously.) Think about that for a moment. How screwed up is our national psyche when The Mouse, for crying out loud, is making movies about the end of the world?
I'm thinking of pitching an idea to Hollywood to remake WarGames, but have Joshua (now called Evil Joshua to make the movie darker) and his buddy Evil David (now played by the I'm-a-Mac guy, but with a goatee to make him look like the evil Spock from that one Star Trek episode) play Global Thermonuclear War and this time actually kill everyone on the planet, the International Space Station, and Europa (attempt no landing there) including Will Smith's character (because you can't have a movie like that without either Will Smith or Tommy Lee Jones.) I predict boffo box office.
Does anyone else think that instead of wasting time with this sad, dark, violent, depressing national therapy session at the movies we could brighten our mood just by convincing the President that August, September, and October are the Presidential equivalent of "Senior Skip Days"? I mean after all, he already takes more vacation time than God (who spends 1/7th of eternity on vacation -- a pretty good deal), so convincing W to bug out early shouldn't be too hard. We'll be fine without a President for a few months until the election, plus it will give the White House cleaning crew more time to scrub the Oval Office clean of Karl Rove's H.R Geiger-esque-Alien goo excretions, eggs, and the exoskeletons left-over after he molts.
(BTW, this is completely unrelated to everything else in this post, but now we've learned that Marvin Candle/Edger Halliwax/Pierre Cheng was also from Ann Arbor and The University of Michigan just like Gerald and Karen DeGroot. So just allow me to say, "Suck it, all other colleges and universities in the world!")
You've already heard all about it and/or seen it so I won't bother with a review. If you haven't seen it yet, just go now.
By the way, I learned at the movies that the citizens of the United States are scared frakin' shrat-less.
(I don't know what the BSG equivalent of sh_t is, so I just made up shrat. Sounds right somehow, and it sounded better than "frakin' frak-less." In the old series I believe the equivalent of poo was "feldercarb". Thank gods the new BSG didn't bring that one back!)
Anyway .... What has led me to the conclusion that we're all scared frakin' shrat-less? Oh, I don't know, maybe it was the 18 million apocalyptic, horrible, world-is-coming-to-an-end-and-we're-all-seriously-fraked-no-really-I-mean-it-we're-more-fraked-than-you-think trailers that showed before Dark Knight. First there was the one for The Day the Earth Stood Still (frankly, the fact that they remade this at all, but then did so with Kean-"whhhoah" Reeves is proof enough that the world is about to crash and burn), then there was Terminator #18 (or whatever number they're on now ... I never watched past #2), then there were about half a dozen less memorable, but equally "we're all gonna die man. Game over. GAME OVER!" trailers. Heck, even Disney/Pixar's latest movie WALL-E is about us completely screwing up the planet then getting fat and stupid (when in fact, we all know that those are all happening simultaneously.) Think about that for a moment. How screwed up is our national psyche when The Mouse, for crying out loud, is making movies about the end of the world?
I'm thinking of pitching an idea to Hollywood to remake WarGames, but have Joshua (now called Evil Joshua to make the movie darker) and his buddy Evil David (now played by the I'm-a-Mac guy, but with a goatee to make him look like the evil Spock from that one Star Trek episode) play Global Thermonuclear War and this time actually kill everyone on the planet, the International Space Station, and Europa (attempt no landing there) including Will Smith's character (because you can't have a movie like that without either Will Smith or Tommy Lee Jones.) I predict boffo box office.
Does anyone else think that instead of wasting time with this sad, dark, violent, depressing national therapy session at the movies we could brighten our mood just by convincing the President that August, September, and October are the Presidential equivalent of "Senior Skip Days"? I mean after all, he already takes more vacation time than God (who spends 1/7th of eternity on vacation -- a pretty good deal), so convincing W to bug out early shouldn't be too hard. We'll be fine without a President for a few months until the election, plus it will give the White House cleaning crew more time to scrub the Oval Office clean of Karl Rove's H.R Geiger-esque-Alien goo excretions, eggs, and the exoskeletons left-over after he molts.
(BTW, this is completely unrelated to everything else in this post, but now we've learned that Marvin Candle/Edger Halliwax/Pierre Cheng was also from Ann Arbor and The University of Michigan just like Gerald and Karen DeGroot. So just allow me to say, "Suck it, all other colleges and universities in the world!")
Posted: Mon - July 28, 2008 at 12:18 PM