Weird Animal News ...



1. Octopi are scary smart. Three stories: The first about an octopus vandalizing the Santa Monica Pier Aquarium, the second about another octopus's unusual obsession with Mr. Potato Head, and the third about a bored octopus wrecking some lights and juggling hermit crabs.

OK, the hermit crab thing is funny because ... well ... who hasn't juggled hermit crabs? But the rest of it is creepy. Remember these little blobs of jello with arms are enormously skillful at camouflage . So what we're actually talking about is sneaky, stealthy animals that can neutralize electronics and plumbing, and have shown no concern for other forms of life. Sounds like a recipe for world domination, if you ask me.

2. A mosquito has survived for 18 months on the outside surface of the International Space Station (aka the USS Good Money After Bad.) After experiencing huge fluctuations in temperature from -150˚C to 60˚C, not to mention the constant bombardment from highly radioactive cosmic rays, they brought him back to Earth and he's alive. Who's stupid idea was that?! How does anyone get to be an astronaut without having ever read The Andromeda Strain? Have these people never seen Aliens or read a single comic book? Have they not seen Mansquito?

I believe the appropriate response to news like this is something like, "We're all gonna die, man! We're all gonna die! Game over, man! Game OVER!"

If we're lucky, the mosquito won't cross breed with a pissed off octopus, but the human race rarely ever gets that lucky in these scenarios.

Better stock up on the citronella and DEET.

Posted: Sat - February 28, 2009 at 05:18 PM        

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