No News is Good News...



Don't wanna hear the news
What's going on
What's coming through
I don't wanna know
-- Pet Shop Boys, "Numb"

At some point, between our Vice President, Dick, asserting that he is the fourth branch of our federal government (apparently the Evil Grand Vizier) and the announcement of the Supreme Court decisions last week, I decided it was time to fast from the news for a while. I figure about a month or so should be good. It is summer, after all. It makes sense to be a little more relaxed and a little out of touch. I suggested the idea to Brian and he agreed. So, for one month:

• No newspaper -- Not such a big deal. The Chelsea Standard basically reports how much Farmer Brown's prize sow sold for at the fair. Somehow I'll live without knowing that.
• No Newsweek -- That one will be tough, I like my Newsweek.
• No CNN in the morning while I'm eating my Lucky Charms -- Again, not a big deal. I'll only be missing Soledad O'Brien's latest stupidity.
• No Advocate -- Oh well. I suppose I'll miss out on which straight actor/actress is taking the courageous leap of coming out as not being too homophobic and gets his/her picture on the cover for their bravery.
• No NPR -- Actually we only listen to NPR on the way home from work these days. We stopped listening to it on the way into work in the morning some time ago. Brian would start the car and we'd immediately hear Carl Kasell's voice saying, ".... killed 35 people in Baghdad this morning..." Couldn't handle that, particularly before my coffee. As a bonus we'll also miss out on hearing about the complete incompetence and stupidity of the Michigan Legislature. Seriously, if you think our federal government is screwed up, you should take a look at Michigan politics.
• No internet news -- I'll have to change my start up page, which is currently set to Yahoo headlines.
• No Daily Show or Colbert Report -- This will probably be the hardest to live without. By the way, did you know that viewers of the Daily show/Colbert Report have the highest level of knowledge about political affairs and FOX News viewers have the lowest? Quelle surprise!

However, I'm not going to be too obsessive about avoiding the news. I'm not going to inflict some Opus Dei-esque self-flagellation if I accidently see a newspaper headline. But I found out recently that some news is impossible to avoid. For example, I couldn't care less about Paris Hilton and, to quote Barbara Bush (who was speaking about Iraq), "Why should I waste my beautiful mind on something like that?" Yet, even though I strived to be completely ignorant about the comings and goings of that ignorant slut (Paris or Barbara), I couldn't go anywhere without someone asking me, "Oh, did you hear Paris went to jail?" (or got out of jail, or went back to jail, or screwed the entire jail, or the judge, or whatever.) Heck, even my husband inadvertently relayed some Paris news to me just yesterday. So, I assume I'll still hear about what's going on in the world, but it will already be digested. Like a baby bird, I'll just get a few news scraps and nuggets here and there, puked up for me by someone else. For in reality, what else can you do with the news these days?

I'm looking forward to this fast.

Posted: Mon - July 2, 2007 at 09:48 AM        

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