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| My confession... | | Date Created: Jan 14, 2005, 03:56 PM |
 Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It's been 33 years since my last confession because, well ... I'm Protestant. But I must say I've always admired the fashion sense you Catholics possess. Your robes are much more fun than ours, and you get to wear funky hats. Pretty rare to find a Presbyterian, or a Baptist wearing a funky hat.
Anyway, sorry, Father I digress. What? Um ... Boxer briefs, why do you ask, Father?
So, I was saying...my confession.
Here goes. I like Starbucks. There. I've said it. Yes, I know how uncool it is to like some big mega-uber-corporation, and I should instead patronize some little Mom-n-Pop coffee place. I'm sorry...really I am, but I can't help it.
Hey, I shop at local bookstores and never eat at McDonalds. Doesn't that make up for this little sin? No? Well, OK. That's why I'm here at confession. And no, Father, I don't want to take my socks off.
Anyway...Starbucks is probably evil for some reason, even though they give 100% of their political contributions to Democrats, and they provide benefits to their employees like health care and tuition reimbursement. I'm sure they're evil for some reason ... at least, people keep saying they are.
But I'm sorry Father, I just keep going back. If you're in a strange city, they can be a convenient place to hang out while you get your bearings. They've got comfy chairs, and they've got wireless internet. What more could I ask? Well, yes Father, you're probably right, I could ask for that, but I doubt they'd give it to me.
But best of all. They have started selling something called Chantiqua, or Chantinque, or something ... I don't know. It sounds like a Drag Queen, but tastes like a yummy melted bar of chocolate. [Note: Having never tasted a drag queen, I apologize if the conjunction used in the last sentence should be "and" instead of "but." Eds.] I know I shouldn't go back, but it's so good (especially if you get the Barista to shoot some raspberry or orange syrup in there.)
Anyway, I'm confessing this sin, Father, in the hopes that confession will lead to true repentance. I assume my penance will be the same as last time? Is that with or without the riding crop? |
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