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| Home > Random > Now I know why they are called "fruit" flies |
| Now I know why they are called "fruit" flies | | Date Created: Jun 03, 2005, 12:12 PM |
So, in this week's edition of Cell, a team of resesarchers from Austria have discovered that exchanging a single gene in a female fruit fly for a gene from a male fruit fly turns the female flies into lesbians.
I've already gone on ad nauseum about how I feel about this kind of research. The research itself is interesting, but the conclusions that the scientists themselves draw from the research are just silly. One scientist is quoted as saying, ""Hopefully this will take the discussion about sexual preferences out of the realm of morality and put it in the realm of science." Yeah right, Dexter. I think perhaps you should get out of the lab once in a while and get a breath of fresh air. All that fly-nap has gone to your brain. Do you really think the fundies are going to listen to scientists? Puh-leeeese. They hate scientists almost as much as they hate gays.
Have these scientists ever considered the morality of turning those straight flies into queer guys, I mean gals? Think about it: fruit flies spend about 20 minutes mating, but they only live about 1 or 2 weeks. This means that these gay-Frankenstein fruit flies are spending a considerable amount of their time having sex with the wrong gender. How can they ever find time to contemplate their salvation while engaging in so much coitus drosophilius? Do we have a way to change them back to their natural orientation before the time runs out for these little buggers? Is there an ex-gay fruit fly ministry out there?
"Hi, My name is Phylissszzzz bzzzz and I uszzzzzed to beeee bzzzz a lezzzzzbian. But now, thankszzzz to Exoduzzzzzz I'm a healthy happy bzzzzz fly with 4000 little maggotszzzzzz. Thiszzzz iszzz my huzzzzzband Szzzteven. He'szzzz a whizzzz with the Formula 4-24 and he hardly bzzzz ever attempts to mate with other maleszzzzz."
What's even worse about this research is that there is a biology lab down the hall where students use fruit flies all the time. Many of these fruit fly prisoners excape their Fruit Fly Gitmo and end up in my lab, where they die -- usually on the back of a file folder. Now I'm going to feel guilty for squishing the damn things because I may be inadvertantly killing a sister.
Whew...I think all this fly-nap has gone to my head. |
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