How do you ship a baby?


Babies R Us/Amazon make me an interesting offer, but the mechanics astound me.

Title of Email advertisement:

Free Shipping for Babies on the Go

And I think to myself, "They've done it again!" Just think of it:

You're on vacation and you have to fly from DC to Las Vegas. You're looking at a five hour flight (not counting security checkpoints, flight delays, possible driving, etc) with a baby and the complete baby gear. You know there will be crying, poopy diapers, and glances from childless people. What if you have a connecting flight? Sure they let you board early, but good luck getting off before the 400 other feral passengers. Is it really worth it? Do you really want to start out your vacation like this?

And then we have Amazon...willing to ship your baby to any location, free! What a fantastic notion. You and your partner get some time alone together and you can travel light. It makes perfect sense. You could ship the baby ahead of time, overnight maybe, so it would be waiting for you. Or just ship it the same day and have it delivered to your hotel the next day. This is a truly revolutionary idea, and leave it to the folks at Amazon.

Now expand on this idea a little...what about a NetFlix service for babies. Stick with me here. Why HAVE a baby? Just rent one. You go online, find a baby you like, they ship it to you with return postage. Keep it as long as you like, no late fees. Once you grow tired of it, send it back and get another.

The problem is I can't figure out a safe packing method that doesn't involve some form of asphyxiation. Peanuts, bubble wrap, newspaper, dry ice...all bad. I asked the Empress what she thought, and though she liked the idea...she was also confounded. I just cannot figure it out. I really need to go back to the Email and read the whole thing. Perhaps they explain it towards the bottom.

Posted: Thu - June 12, 2003 at 02:52 PM        

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